Receiving my diagnosis was not the worst thing that ever happened to me. In a lot of ways, it was empowering to put a name to the many emotional, physical and psychological things I had been experiencing for so many years. There was something wrong with me that affected every part of my life. I felt like all my effort didn't make a difference, and in some ways that was true because my effort was being put into a lot of the wrong things.
Here are my lessons learned so far...
My body isn't my enemy.
i just need to learn how to take care of it the right way.
I don't fit into a mold.
what worked for my friends or family didn't work for me, and I didn't know where or how to try something on my own.
I am beautiful.
i don't need to be a certain size or certain weight or certain shape.
I am perfectly imperfect.
i am me and that is a wonderful, beautiful thing. i am valuable and irreplaceable. it's never okay to expect myself to be perfect.
This isn't about "not cheating" or "being good."
i don't cheat on my diet. i can't. it's not a diet, it's my life and my lifestyle. sometimes i have dairy or soy or wine or even sugar and it's okay. it's a choice i make and i know i might feel a little crappy if i eat those things. sometimes the chocolate is worth it. i choose to be healthy and feel good and eat the things that make my body feel good.
Life is about living. Enjoying every moment. Finding passion and love, betrayal and trust, Feeling every emotion and knowing the value in the wonderful things in your life. Living with PCOS isn't about holding back or missing out.
My life is about waking up in the morning and feeling better than I did a week ago. It's about finding a recipe that my hubby and I both love eating and partnering together to have a healthy food lifestyle. Each day my body is healthier and stronger which is something I'll continue for the rest of my life.
I'm learning something new about myself every day...
Self-reflection is a huge part of my life right now. Today I realized that I let go of my work stress on the drive home which rarely happened before. I also looked to my coworkers for help because I needed it which was liberating. Today, I felt good. I felt re-energized when I got home. That's an awesome victory. Tomorrow will bring another one.