We are in the process of buying our first house. So, this is a super exciting time...and also a scary, anxious and expensive time. Our house is close to a grade school, much closer to work and has recently been renovated so all we have to do is move in and make the place our own. Score!
We have a 100 (and counting) page idea book on how we'll decorate and design each room. My organization and creativity obsessions have taken over, I am THAT excited!! Visions of refinishing furniture, diying and thrifting are literally (click it! you won't regret it!) dancing in my head right now.
I think this year will be a good year. The last two have been filled with a lot of medical problems. But, both me and my spouse are finally healing and recovering. And since I've been managing my PCOS symptoms so much better than ever before in my life, I find that I actually have a lot more perspective on some of the crappy events that took place over the last two years. I can let the past be in the past.
My resolution this year is to be present in the moment. To accept myself as I am and not let worry or anxiousness about the past or the future overwhelm my emotions. I've been doing really well with this and I feel so much happier. At first I thought that I was just coping better with the challenging things in my life. Then, this week I decided to splurge a little in the food department and eat some yummy delivery pizza. Two days in a row, even. And on the second day, all the "zen" I had been feeling earlier in the week started to melt away. I was catching myself obsessing over non-issues and not being able to let go of these thoughts that kept needling into my head.
Have you ever been in this situation before? When it hits me, I know that the situation isn't a big deal, but I keep worrying that someone isn't happy with the situation or isn't happy with me or that something bad is going to happen next, even though that's entirely illogical. It seeps into my dreams and my entire day and I drive myself crazy trying to find a way to distract myself. The distractions, by the way, never ever work.
I realized today that the only thing I did differently this week compared with the last 6 weeks was eating the pizza two days in a row. And it's only been the last two days that I started to have these thoughts and feelings. Which left me wondering, could it really be that this pizza jacked up my insulin levels and left me with all these craptastic thoughts? I actually think the answer is "yes."
So, I guess I can't take all the credit for the new high-energy, happy vibes I have most of the time now. But at least I know that I'll get out of the funk I'm feeling and start to be happy and more peaceful again.
Tomorrow I'll start out the week with an awesome yoga class, a little paperwork at the office and more packing at home. I love packing! I found some great tips here and have been putting them to good use. THIRTY-SEVEN days until closing! I can't wait!